Oscar's new backyard is finished

All done, looks pretty good if I say so myself... Oscar loves his new house (checks it's still there every morning)

Now if we could only stop him from getting wet...

Dad's gentle touch goes a long way

Dad's gentle touch goes a long way

While there has been a great deal research into the mother-child bond only recently has research focused on the father-child bond and how that “IT is the gentle touch that can echo throughout a child's life and his own” (Power, 2012). Research conducted by Dion Khlentzos from the Univeristy of Western Sydney shows “a father's bond with his child can have significant impacts on his health, happiness and family life”. Drawing from both personal and observed experience I fully agree with this idea and not only enjoy a strong bond with my own father but also of that with my own son. We all know those friends (or may in fact be that person) that lacked that bond with their fathers and while they may not understand what they are missing, those around them can see a difference in their interaction with other people, in particular other males. To quote Cat Stevens “my boy was just like me”, sons are like their fathers, if they lack a strong bond between each other there is a strong likely hood that those sons will then go on and may struggle to form strong bonds with their children.

While it is easy and in some part necessary (men can’t breast feed) to allow mothers to play a primary role in early childhood, fathers must make a conscious effort to be involved right from the beginning so that they are able to start forming these ever important bonds with their children.

These benefits of establishing and maintaining these bonds between fathers and their children may also have direct benefits for the fathers themselves, Khlentzos states that “the quality of a man's relationship with his children affects the dad's health”.  So even the most self-centred dads may find a personal reason to form these bonds: their own health! 

Obviously human relationships are complex in nature, and the parent-child relationship is no different. These relationships are not formed in isolation and take part within the structure of other wider relationships (family, community etc) and are also dynamic and ever-changing in nature. The researchers sum in up perfectly by stating that "It is therefore important to understand how men are able to establish emotional connections with their kids”.

 I for one will be following this research with interest…I even participated in it!

REFERENCES

Power, L. (2012). Dad's gentle touch goes a long way. Retrieved October 19, 2012, from http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/sydney-news/dads-gentle-touch-goes-a-long-way/story-e6freuzi-1226494721638

Boys and their toys

Responsible parenting tip 203, Make sure you child does not operate heavy machinery unless supervised.

Santa had to start early this year....the new garden works has started (and the cubby house has been ordered). I think we all "try" to create a childhood equal to or better then our own for our children and in doing so I think we all discover and appreciate our own parents efforts just that little bit more.

One last tip, cubby houses aren't cheap... so if you don't have one already start saving now!

Matt

Introducing Your Topic

Everything changes... you’ll hear current fathers (and mothers) say those words to any expectant parent.

How does it change? What changes? When does it change? And most importantly how does it change?

Boy Oh Boy, let’s start with the first basic truth, nothing that anyone tells you will fully prepare you for parenthood… NOTHING. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook already, there are still plenty of ways you can prepare to cope with that basic truth and for the daily trials that face any parent, especially Dads.

One of first "Dad" lessons I learnt was nothing goes to plan, a lesson all parents learn pretty quickly. Casey (my wife and mother to Oscar) and myself had planned to tell my parents in person about the good news in our next trip to Sydney but that had to be replaced by a phone call from hospital (poor Casey had to be admitted 7 weeks into this journey). One positive from this issue was a very early scan, to rule out twins, yet another word that makes you fall over. While on pregnancy, it’s worth pointing out it’s the last time you’ll be alone as a couple for the next 20 years (hopefully) so while not the easiest thing to do, don’t miss this chance to have some alone/couple time.  

While 9 months long, and you won’t believe so at the time, the pregnancy goes fast (sorry Casey) and soon you’ll be holding your own mini-me, so what next? Well that’s a big question that I’m still exploring and ask you to share. There’s the issue of traveling both domestically and internationally (forget travelling light ever again), there’s how to baby proof a house, coping with pets and the baby, the enjoy of food and feeding, education and how to start early, the joy of Christmas, capturing those first steps (and all those climbs) and watching a person and their personality form and so much more…

Please feel free to join this adventure by reading Boy Oh Boy (who knows what will happen next) or better yet by leaving comments of any tips or tricks you’ve picked up alone the way.

Narrating Personal Interest

My web presence, Boy Oh Boy, is the documentation of the processes and my thoughts on becoming a father for the first time. This blog was created before Oscar was born and follows my progress as expectant father to new father (and Oscar’s from squiggly lines on a screen to crazy toddler!).

I’ve chosen this topic for a number of reasons, the most important being that I like the idea of creating a reflective piece, created in the now, to pass onto my Oscar in the future. In doing this I hope that he will better understand his father and also, hopefully, understand how much he means to me and how his values where formed.

There are many secondary reasons for sharing this experience. Growing up in Sydney and now raising a family in Adelaide I now have family spread all over the country, and indeed the globe. This blog is a way of sharing the experience with both interstate and international family members. This stops the multiple requests for updates from everyone and allows them one-spot to ‘check-in’ on our progress and father-son adventures. Further to this, I personally have found the internet to be ‘flooded’ with ‘mummy-bloggers’ that while informative in the general sense of child rearing advice, they neglect or in some cases completely ignore the male/dad perspective. I often overhear other expectant and new fathers comment that they “had no idea what was coming” and so hopefully I can give them one or two ideas of on how to handle that from my experiences.

As an IT professional, I understand the real possibility (and have seen it happen) of losing personal data due to file corruption, viruses, or even simple hardware failure / theft. So I use this blog and other social media as yet another way to store Oscar’s childhood photos just in case this ever occurs. I believe the effect of losing these childhood of memories, forever, counterbalances any privacy concerns created by sharing these moments in public.

And finally, I think being a dad is pretty cool!

P.S. I must acknowledge Oscar's help in writing this narrative (as shown in the above photo)

Just swinging around

Daddy's little graffiti artist

Today's Master Chef invention test involves cat food and tupperware

Uncle Paul was right! Pancakes on Sundays are the best breakfast

The Cockle Train